Teacups and Superheroes

New and improved sick! Now with sinus infection! (Piles of homework sold separately)

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:51:44 GMT

Oh my lord and kitties, what the heck is going on with my life!!!???

I am still sick. The coughing has died down a bit. This is a positive. I am trying to dwell on the positive. I still have a cough, but it is more like a regular old cough and less like a fetal giraffe is trying to escape my lung. Hooray for me! But now, sweet bebés, the sinus beneath my left eyebrow, which from google searching I have learned is my frontal sinus, is swollen and painful. It doesn't look like anything, but it feels like this:

Lovely.

I actually woke up in the middle of the night to have a sneezing fit. What?! Yes. A sneezing fit. In the middle of the night. I don't know how Jack functions, having to sleep next to me and my random loud late night symptoms.

So I have called in sick to work for the second weekend in a row, which should make paying rent for next month super-fun!

Anyway... regardless of the watermelon under my eyebrow and the cough and the snot and the whatnot... I went to school yesterday. And guess what I found out!??! Basically, I am going to die this weekend. I have 180 pages of reading to do, a paper due Sunday night, a packet of computer lab work that can only be done in the computer lab at school due on Tuesday, two midterms and a quiz on Tuesday, and about forty pages of Statistics homework to do.

Good thing I called out of work.

OH! I almost forgot to tell you about St Patrick's Day! I don't celebrate the thing, but Jack does. So we went and got beer and I dyed it green for him, and made him take shots and basically just made a very big deal out of getting him as drunk as possible, because that's what he wanted to do for Patty's Day. (Weird. I know. I don't really get it either. Tipsy? OK. Shitfaced? No thanks, I'm good.)

So anyway, I get Jack drunk, and he goes to bed. I am sitting in the living room doing homework, and he is yelling for me to come to bed and *ahem* hang out. And I am in the middle of homework, so I say no. And he is suddenly and very loudly yelling, "NO ORGASMS! NO MORE ORGASMS FOR YOU! NOT EVER! NOBODY GETS ANY MORE ORGASMS! NO MORE! EXCEPT LIZ! LIZ HAS LOTS AND LOTS OF ORGASMS!"

Liz is our neighbor. She has loud sex sometimes. (Who doesn't?) Her bedroom is through our wall. I have not run into her since, but I am hoping she was not home to hear my drunkety husband yelling about her sex life through the wall.

Jack, by the way, does not remember this happening. Not at all. I have told him about it, and he thinks it is very very funny.

So that's my week. Hope you are all having more fun than me. Though I do have kitties curled up all around me, so that's something. Back to my reading! :)

J.E.

P.S. I found a picture of a fetal giraffe, but decided it was slightly too graphic for this page. You can see it here if you want to. It really does look like what my lungs felt like not three days ago.

Life List Cross-Offs!

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:03:39 GMT

IN PROGRESS:

-Own at least as many cashmere sweaters as there are days of the week (one so far)
-Get all health stuff back in order: insurance, dentist, antidepressants, acupuncture, massage, body work, tested for breast cancer genes, etc. (We got INSURANCE!!!)
-Make 100 lovely things (Did I show you the mouse ears? I will have to show you the mouse ears.)
-Finally once and for all quit smoking (Over two weeks! Not counting it until it's been at least a year.)
-Take 100 portraits (So far, Meta & Ian. I would love to take your picture. When are you free?)
-Send 20 friends flowers for no reason (So far, Cheryl. Do I have your address? You should get that to me.)
-Get rid of 100 things (I am up to 50!)
-Pass Statistics (Midterm complete!)
-Finish my Associate's Degree (Besides the classes I'm in right now, only one class to go!)

COMPLETE!

-Got eyes checked and got glasses
-Have a shop on Etsy
and finally... just today... what a relief... drumroll, please...
-FINISHED THE WEDDING THANK-YOU CARDS!!!!!

Seriously, you guys, I totally rule.

IN OTHER NEWS...

The bug bites have gone away almost completely, thanks to diatomaceous earth. And you were skeptical... :)

No caffeine still! For over a month now! Since before Valentine's Day. I sleep great. I have dreams. I wake up perfectly happy. Life is pretty much awesome. Sad about the scant dessert offerings without chocolate in the mix. American desserts are apparently either fruit or chocolate, and little else. In my search for decadent non-chocolate dessert items ('cuz sometimes you're just not in the mood for fruit), I have discovered Häagen Dazs Dulce de Leche. How the hell did I live without THAT?

I am still sick (STILL! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?).

I am hoping that cramps-so-bad-I-vomit were a one time thing.

Yann Tiersen is amazing.

JE

Reasons why today is better than yesterday: a short list

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:41:37 GMT

1. Getting better, little by little, finally. Throat is sore, but that's mostly from coughing. Still a little chest congestion, but should be OK by Tuesday when I really need to go back to school.

2. I'm about to give you way more information than you want, but I think you can handle it. Last night, I had cramps so bad (SO BAD!) that I threw up. And I'm not talking about like, a little dry heaving here and there. I mean, full on projectile vomiting amazing amounts of throw up. I have the best husband in the world. He held my hair out of my face while I vomited into a bucket... while sitting in bed. I love him. The cramps have subsided. Not since I had what I thought was cramps but was actually appendicitis have I had anything hurt me so bad it made me puke. It was incredible. If that is anything like what childbirth feels like, you can just forget about me doing that. Jack used to get cramps like that every month. So bad he couldn't get out of bed and vomiting and horrible. I told him last night that if I had to go through that every month, I would want to be a boy too. Horrible.

JE

Reasons why today is awesome: a short list

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:36:26 GMT

1. Still sick.

2. Bank account overdrawn (being corrected as I type this).

3. Emo got poo on his foot and subsequently tried to wipe it off on every available surface. Ostensibly this was an all-night-long endeavor, judging by the look of the house when we woke up. Poo everywhere. I mean it. Everywhere.

4. Having just, mere seconds before, finally finished cleaning up the smears of poo all over the house, I walked into the living room to find Miss Kittie Face peeing in the milk crate where I keep my purses. Backstabbing wench.

JE

Sick and tired

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:54:49 GMT

The bugs are gone. Thank goodness. The diotomaceous earth has worked. We have also been giving it to our cats (one teaspoon in their food per day) and they are loving life. Emo's entire demeanor has changed from super-angsty whineypants to the sweetest quietest cat ever. We think he had internal parasites that are being killed off by the DE. Perfect!

I am home sick. Watching Jeff Corwin on Netflix Instant Watch. I am not sure where this illness came from, whether from allergies or something going around, but I have been fever-y and coughing my guts out for most of the day. So I am learning about red pandas, and slow lorises, and sucking on Ricola cough drops.

I wish I could be less lame for you today, but I am sick and the bugs are dead, and that's all I have for you. Sadness accrues.

JE

Damnit.

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:09:34 GMT

The lavender/vinegar thing worked for one night only. Woke up this morning with fresh bite on my ankle.

I think we might have bed bugs.

After copious internet research, have called the landlord. Luckily, have caught it early if I'm right. Only a week or two in. As soon as it is late enough, will be washing everything in the house. And cleaning. Hardcore cleaning.

Also: need to buy a caulk gun and caulk. Too many crevices in this house.

P.S.

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:06:18 GMT

NO MORE NEW BITES! The lavender/vinegar thing totally worked.

FINALLY!

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:37:54 GMT

Us, originally uploaded by berkeleykatpoet.

We finally got our wedding photos back from Marta, and boy were they worth the wait. There's a smattering of them up on flickr, and a lot more over on facebook.

So much goodness.

JE

Toldja!

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:02:06 GMT

IMGP0001, originally uploaded by berkeleykatpoet.

This is my back.

Itches like fire, my friends. Itches like fire.

JE

Why hello there, lovelies!

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:55:55 GMT

1. Have been sick at home for two days. I think at least partially because of the massive spider bites I have been getting while I sleep. Do you know how to get rid of a spider you can't find without poison? I wouldn't care so much about bug bombing if there was a window to the outdoors to air our room out when we were done. Feeling much better now than I did yesterday, though I itch in all kinds of unfun places. Seriously, more than 10 big-ass bites in a week.

[Edit: After much internet research, I have literally drenched our bedroom in lavender. Hopefully this will work. If I don't have any new bites in the morning, we'll consider it a success.]

2. Since I have been on my ass for two days, I have been working on my Life List. I have added such amazing things as learn to silkscreen and be a lounge singer in a bar in a foreign country. Exciting!

3. I have also recently crossed off a few things on my Life List! I got my eyes checked and got glasses! (check!) I started a shop on Etsy! (check!)

4. I have also begun several projects with regard to my Life List! We got health insurance! I started making lovely things! I haven't smoked since Saturday! I took portraits of Meta and Ian! I sent my first friend flowers for no reason! I filed my petition for my Associates Degree! I am staying on top of my Stats homework (so I may actually pass)! Hooray for my mighty life!

5. I gave up caffeine a month ago. Seriously. No coffee, no tea, no chocolate, no (most) soda, no Excedrin... I slipped up once after I made the decision to do it, because it was only two days later, and I forgot about chocolate. But it's been a month now, and oh my goodness! I sleep now! I had never considered that I might love sleep more than chocolate, but I do. I also no longer have bizarre food cravings. Or migraines! And even when I don't sleep (like if I drink alcohol, for example) I am not remotely as tired as I used to be just from a regular night of sleep. Go figure. The original decision was a whim, and based mostly on my want for more sleep. I read about how caffeine has a half-life of 6-10 hours, and about what it does chemically in the body, and I decided to give it a try. I haven't decided if I'm giving it up forever. I had originally thought to do it for a month and then see how I feel. But I feel so good, I think I'm sticking with it.

6. What is going on with you? Have you made a list of things you want to do before you die? What's on your list? Have you been able to check anything off? How exciting is this whole living thing?!

JE

I takes photos!

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:45:47 GMT

IMGP0040, originally uploaded by berkeleykatpoet.

I shot engagement pictures for my lovely friend Meta and her fiancé Ian today.

How cute are they?

JE

Bespectacled!

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:18:00 GMT

Bespectacled!, originally uploaded by berkeleykatpoet.

I finally got glasses!

Seeing is awesome.

FLEURS!!!

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:48:29 GMT

IMG_0726, originally uploaded by berkeleykatpoet.

Look what my Jack brought me home today! Aren't they beautiful?!

I was just sitting here, minding my own business, watching videos on youtube and listening to glorious bayou dance party music, and in walks my adorable husband with these glorious blooms!

He is such a darlin'.

Hello, lovies!

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 09:50:40 GMT

It's time for another round of Stuff I <3 on Etsy!

This time let's talk cute dresses, shall we? Spring, bebés, is right around the corner. The cherry blossoms are already opening down here in San Francisco, quivering off their little branches and showering down all lovely and pink... so all you snowed-in sweethearts can't be far behind! Nothing better in the world for spring than adorable little dresses, and they'll go great with all the fantastic shoes you were ogling last week! :)

I am not a small, so I can not order this lovely little thing, but this dress is a cross between one of my mother's shirts and my favorite Barbie dress. I am in love with it. Will you please buy it and take lots of pictures of you wearing it? Pretty please and thank you.

How simple is this? How great would it look with every cardigan you own? So great.

The perfect farmer's market dress. This dress and a wide-brimmed straw hat. Lovely!

Turquoise is the new black, y'all!

Screenprinting is a beautiful art, don't you think? And who doesn't love goldfish? This is a perfect example of what you should wear with 80s boots. This and everything else you own.

That big rosette just takes my breath away. With cowboy boots. Yep.

The front is just as cute. Promise.

Just look at that plunging neck line! There's a reason this dress is called "Not for the Faint of Heart"! I want one in every color of the rainbow but purple. I look dead in purple.

The foofy little skirt! Expensive, I know. More than I paid for my wedding dress. But look at the sweetheart neckline! So cute! So cute! With patterned tights and fancy little flats? This is the perfect party dress!

Well, lovies, that's all I've got for you today! Happy Spring!

JE

Excerpt for you to chew on a little bit.

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 09:06:23 GMT

From Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells:

Siddalee-

Good God, child! What do you mean, you "don't know how to love"? Do you think any of us know how to love?! Do you think anybody would ever do anything if they waited until they knew how to love?! Do you think that babies would ever get made or meals cooked or crops planted or books written or what God-damn-have-you? Do you think people would even get out of bed in the morning if they waited until they knew how to love?
You have had too much therapy. Or not enough. God knows how to love, Kiddo. The rest of us are only good actors.

Forget love. Try good manners.
-Vivi Abbot Walker

Back in the computer class from hell...

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:54:51 GMT

Being that I am hating life right now, and I have nearly forty minutes left of trying to avoid eye contact with my teacher and not laugh out loud at other students. I know, I'm mean. I deserve to be in hell. I get that. However, you benefit from my boredom. How? Let me tell you how. I am going to make for you a lovely list of lovely things to look at. :)

Stuff I Love on Etsy: Shoe Edition

How cute are these shoes?! If my feet were narrow, they would be on their way to me in the mail right this minute. My feet, sadly, are not narrow. Are yours? You should buy these. Seriously.

There's something about gray 80s boots. I have an awesome pair similar to these, just a little bit shorter, and I love them. You'd think they wouldn't go with everything, but lord, they do. So cute with skinny jeans.

These gorgeous things from Circus B'Zerkus are a little pricey, but they're custom made just for you! And look how pretty!

Holy Crap! These, ladies and gentlemen, are f$%# me heels. Serious ones.

Adorable, right?! And the coolest thing about them is that SMARTFISH will make them custom for your feet, using almost all organic and salvaged materials! Shrink your cute little carbon footprint!

Through the looking glass in comfortable shoes! The scene on these super-cozy Vans is hand painted by lyndartiste! Talent, I tell ya.

I know it's still cold out, y'all, but summer is coming! Which means it's time for some kick-ass sandals! Sandali has a variety of lovely leather sandals. Just make sure to check the size chart for European sizing.

Last but certainly not least, how perfect are THESE?! With the turquoise stitching and the adorable little heel? Oh man, I think I'm going to order these today.

That's it for me today. Hope y'all are enjoying the sunshine.

JE

Words I haven't got

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:27:58 GMT

I don't really know how to put the last week into words.

On Friday (1/29), a dear friend and beloved member of the Poetry Slam community died of a fairly rare cancer. She had just found out she was sick five months ago, and nobody expected it to be quite this aggressive and quick. She was 43 years old.

We are all reeling.

I have personal things to write about too, but they feel unimportant in the wake of this.

Gabrielle, you were and always will be my absolute favorite bunny.

JE

Oh, lord, with the boring!

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:50:52 GMT

I am so bored right now. And as much as I would like to keep it to myself, I feel like instead, I will share it with all of you lovely people. Let's face it, folks: Misery loves Company. Misery wants to settle down and have babies with Company. Misery pictures growing old with Company, sitting on a porch swing, sipping lemonade on a warm summer night, holding hands. Misery and Company are like, totally BFFs. My misery needs your company, y'all. Suck it up.

I am currently sitting in the most insanely boring class I've ever taken, including Geology (50 pages of reading a day about rocks). It is Introduction to Computer Information Systems, which means that the first three or so weeks of this class are, "This is a computer... this is your desktop... this is the address bar... etc... etc... ad infinitum." Blurg.

So what else is going on in my life, you might ask? And because I am so bored right now, and am stuck in this class for at least another hour, I can clearly devote a lot of time to telling you all about my life. Yes. Yes, I can. Are you a captive audience yet? Let me just tie you up and force your eyes open with toothpicks. Oh, the ego. The narcissism. The boredom...

Anyway, yeah, so I started school last week. And I am so happy to be back in school. I sat on my butt for three weeks, and I am barely working right now, so it's so nice to have something I'm supposed to be doing to keep me from gaining 40 lbs and becoming one of those women who watches soap operas*.

I came back to school relatively late. I dropped out of high school when I was 17, and while I have been in college off and on ever since, I didn't start to take it seriously until about two years ago. Since then, I have completed almost everything I need for an Associates Degree (next semester, fingers crossed!) and will then (hopefully) be able to transfer to a four-year as a Junior. I want to major in Psychology and Gender Studies/Human Sexuality. At least I think I do. I don't know. We'll see what happens in my life, eh?

What I would really like to do, like you care, is work with kids like Jack. Get them through the system and get them their hormone replacement therapies and counsel and make sure they are getting the care they need affordably. Jack just started testosterone a few weeks ago, after eight years of hemming and hawing and waiting around for the money to make it all happen, and the support and balance for it to work without him losing his mind.

So far it's going really well. I have given him his shot twice now (long needle in the butt, what?!), and haven't messed it up or anything. No changes or anything yet, but it takes a few months, and his dosage will go up several times over the next year or so.

So...

I am currently spacing out in the boring boringness that is the boredom. I'm so sorry I'm so lame today. I keep trying to think of things to say, but they are all Statistics homework and Tetris.

JE

*Oh my lord, have I even told you about my mother-in-law's obsession with the soaps? She works during the day, so she sets her VCR to tape them every single day, and when she gets home at night, she spends hours watching soap operas deep into the night. Jack grew up with them, to the point that he knows all the characters (not necessarily by name, but definitely by sight). It's like they are all related to him, the way his mother has ingrained the soaps into his psyche. As a kid who grew up without television, this is so strange, so strange.

Resolve.

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:46:52 GMT

OK, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong, the last three weeks have been wonderful. Wonderful. After a year of wedding planning and then rapid fire finals/holidays/vet visits/holy crap!... I needed a break. A big fat do-nothing break.

And I took it.

Since 2010 has begun, I have worked one shift of work (not actually by choice, but still, I am grateful), beat my own high Tetris score no less than a dozen times, and watched an incredible TEN SEASONS of Law & Order SVU (plus two and a half of 30 Rock and eight of Friends). I have eaten nothing but crap, left the house barely at all, and spent the majority of my time lying horizontal on my couch window shopping on Etsy. My favorites list is impressive, y'all. Im. Press. Ive.

I have gained weight. I have let whatever was left of my muscles turn directly to butter soaked chubbiness (my husband still thinks I'm cute, though). I got winded walking to the bus stop this morning. But holy crap, lovely people, it was SOOOOOO worth it.

That said, I am over it. I'm done. I'm actually in class right now (Introduction to Computer Information Systems - I could probably take the final right now and be done) and I'm a zombie. Zombie. I am exhausted. Somehow I managed to throw off my sleep schedule so badly that getting up at 7:00 this morning was a travesty of epic proportions. If anyone had been up and about to listen, I would've had a tantrum about it, but no. 7:00 is too early for other people to be up and about, so instead, I just got up and made a pot of coffee and a bowl of instant oatmeal (a little chewy) and dragged my saggy ass to school.

Now, I'm not one to make resolutions. For the last several years, my New Years resolution has been not to make a resolution (kept it every year!). But I need to make a change. Partially because I just spent three weeks eating Doritos and ice cream, and partially because I would like to stay this size or smaller for the rest of my life (bigger means buying new clothes, and when am I ever gonna have the money and time for that?), I need to stop gaining weight. Notice, I am not talking about losing weight. I'm not crazy. I don't believe in diets and calorie counting and gym joining. However, I need to do something to not turn into the rest of my family, who are lovely super sized people. I would like to stay medium to large, a grande in Starbucks-speak, and I am currently working towards the veinte end of the scales.

So anyway, I'm not setting a weight goal, because that just seems silly to me. Silly like going vegan, or like deciding to quit baking or cooking with butter. Silly. What I am going to do is make two healthy goals for myself. Two things that are doable. Two things that I can easily accomplish. Two things that won't make me feel like a failure.

#1: Eat half. I tend to eat double what I should, just because. Seriously. When I made those delicious bacon and chocolate chip pancakes (did I tell you about those? Oh god, I would walk over the skulls of dead babies for more of that yumminess), I had two while I was cooking them, and then two arranged on a plate and pretty, and then a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli. All in like, twenty minutes. Why? Why?! I eat far beyond being full on a daily basis, and there's really no reason for it. So, eat half. This seems like the kind of thing I can do as long as I'm not drunk, which, at this point, is really really rare.

#2: Take the stairs. I go to a school that's all in one building. A building with six floors. There is no reason I can't take the stairs instead of the elevator (except, of course, my not wanting to show up to class wheezing like an old man on a respirator, but whatevs). No more escalators, no more elevators. If I'm not sick, injured, or carrying something very heavy, there is no reason for me not to get myself there without wasting electricity and denying myself a little bit of exercise.

That's it. That's my plan to stop gaining weight. I'll let you know how it goes.

JE

Life List (more has been added!)

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:25:08 GMT

I love this. So exciting, so exciting! I love that I have actual goals now, even if some of them are farfetched. I only have seven more things to add to this list, which I haven't thought of yet, but I will. Because I really want to get to 100.

1. learn to scuba dive
2. live in another country for at least a year
3. play an unconventional instrument proficiently
4. eat Greek yogurt in Greece
5. write a novel
6. publish a book of poetry
7. pass Statistics
8. finish my Associate's Degree
9. get a Bachelor's Degree
10. live in a house with insulation and new windows that keep the heat in
11. live in a clean house with enough storage space for everything we need
12. go to Loy Krathong in Thailand (festival of floating lights - usually in November)
13. go to the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta
14. get back to a healthier weight
15. La Tomatina (tomato fight festival in Spain)
16. make a quilt
17. knit a scarf
18. go to Sedlec Ossuary (church of bones in Czech Republic)
19. grow a garden full of things we can eat
20. start a monthly board game playing night
21. sell things on etsy
22. own at least as many cashmere sweaters as there are days of the week
23. own at least one pair of expensive and well-fitting jeans
24. start actually putting aside money in a savings account
25. get all my health stuff back in order: dentist appointments, antidepressants, acupuncture, massage, body work, tested for breast cancer genes, etc.
26. take the train to the summit of Corcovado in Brazil
27. go look at the Grand Canyon
28. go to Les Calanches on the island of Corsica
29. stay at the Saunton Sands Hotel again
30. climb El Castillo de Kulkulcán at Chichén Itzá in Mexico (Mayan temple)
31. go to Masai Mara Game Reserve in Kenya
32. go to Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe
33. go to Ayers Rock in Australia
34. hold a koala
35. drink beer and eat sausage in Germany
36. drink Guinness in a pub in Ireland
37. learn to play the accordion
38. go to the gay rodeo
39. learn to bake from scratch well enough to just make up recipes and have them work
40. have a special Christmas savings account that we put money into all year
41. live somewhere where it snows for at least one winter
42. send out Christmas cards every year
43. have health insurance for us and all our pets
44. see Eddie Izzard live
45. have my portrait painted
46. donate money for a bench with our names on it at Inspiration Point
47. take a train across the country
48. own a studio apartment just for writing in
49. be in the audience on Ellen
50. plant a garden
51. take trapeze lessons
52. take the Travel Channel Academy digital film school 4 day workshop
53. go to Coney Island Sideshow School
54. spend a weekend with friends at Treehouse Point
55. scuba dive off the Great Barrier Reef in Australia
56. learn to bartend
57. have a baby (or adopt one)
58. go see The Nutcracker
59. go to the opera in an evening gown and gloves
60. spend an entire weekend at a spa
61. ride in a hot air balloon
62. send 20 friends flowers for no reason
63. take cooking classes
64. Go see the Aurora Borealis
65. buy a house
66. get punched in the face (just to see what it feels like)
67. have a dog
68. get completely out of debt (not just to credit-ruining organizations, but to people)
69. make tortillas
70. learn to ride a motorcycle
71. keep bees
72. learn to sail
73. stay at the Blue Lagoon Spa in Iceland
74. learn to use my sewing machine and sew well enough to make clothing
75. get my CPR and First Aid licenses updated
76. take a wine tour with friends
77. eat gelato at the fountains in Rome
78. give blood
79. go back to Giverny and sit on a bench in Monet's garden
80. own a car again
81. wear a big hat and sip mint juleps at the Kentucky Derby
82. build a bookcase
83. learn how to work with wood competently to build furniture
84. have lunch with Paula Deen
85. be in an episode of Law & Order
86. make 100 lovely things
87. order a Smith Island cake
88. go in a shark cage with Great Whites
89. become an Ocean Advocate donor at the Monterey Bay Aquarium
90. go to the Paint the Town Red Gala (Red Cross fundraiser)
91. live in Alaska for a year
92. take Jack on a roadtrip around the country
93. take the train across Europe in a sleeper car

And in other exciting news (I am a blog-reading nerd fangirl, apparently), the gorgeous and inspiring Maggie Mason just put up a post in which she linked to my former post on this very subject. And also, my husband's sister's boyfriend's former teacher is my second cousin's blah blah blah I am a very big nerd who went squealing around the apartment when I saw her post. Yep. Nerd.

JE

The state of the union. And also, pretty!

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:36:54 GMT

Our house is much cleaner than it has ever been, even with a Laura sleeping on the couch. We are doing a great job of keeping it that way, which is intense, as it now seems as if real people live here. Real people who aren't planning a wedding or working the Christmas season or studying for finals. Yay.

I've been doing lots of useless task stuff. I made cookies and ate them and didn't have to give them away to anyone in a cute little tin with a bow on it. I spent an entire afternoon picking out baby names for a baby that certainly does not exist, now or in the foreseeable future (Top names: Lola Rose and Logan James). I beat my own high score at Tetris. I went to a bridal faire with a friend of mine who's getting married (because free champagne and cake is a good reason to do almost anything). I finally listed some stuff on etsy. (You can check that shit out here.) I have more to list, I just have to take attractive pictures of all of it and put them on the internet. We've been watching Friends through again, since we have the whole series. The Laura on our couch seems to be enjoying the ridiculous marathon.

Next up will be tackling the incredible project of making our bedroom livable, rather than just sleepable. The moving around of furniture and the decorating of the walls and stuff.

And now, because I have run out of exciting things to tell you about my very exciting life, here is another episode of things I love and want that make me jealous of other people:

How cute are these? I want one for my coffee table to put stuff on. Or maybe on my dresser? There are two. I could do both. I love this.

Well, helloooooooo gorgeous! I want to wear this with a gray sweater and jeans and boots. And my long hair all tousled in that bed headed awesome super model way. Too bad I don't have long hair.

If Jack and I shared one huge desk (which will never ever ever happen, because I don't want action figures in my work space), I would totally get us this lamp. Maybe I could put it on a tiny shelf above our bed? Ooooohhh! I so rule.

How cute is this sweater? How cute would this sweater look over every outfit I own? That's what I thought.

Less mess than the real thing! And in TWEED! I want one.

Giant butterfly ring on the finger. Hells yes. This could be my new wedding ring, since the real thing is too small right now anyway. I like this idea. Yes.

I want this lamp to be my nightlight. Maybe in my bathroom? My fictional bathroom. Because the bathroom we have now has nowhere to put this. But man, I want it. I want it bad.

Apothecary jars are awesome.

For the longest time I only bought accessories that made me look more cartoon-like. This hat is perfect.

OK, isn't it pretty? Isn't it so, so pretty? Don't you just want to drink fresh juice out of this all day long?

When I was really little, my grandmommy had one of these, except it was red and had one more step. And that was where you sat if she was cutting your hair.

Remember that awesome red necklace that I was going to wear with the gray sweater and the jeans and the boots and the tousled amazing hair? This is the bag I would carry with that outfit.

In my kitchen with wooden spoons in it. Yep. That's all that's missing.

Yes they did.

Now imagine that inside there are M&Ms.

I don't like it in this color so much, but it comes in like, every color, so I want at least ten.

This, however, is perfect exactly as it is. It makes me want to dance around singing Good Day, Sunshine!

For the trinkets. The adorable little trinkets.

OK, seriously, upon seeing this, how much do you want to be five years old again? Because holy crap, this is WAY better than the fort we made out of the couch cushions and the coffee table.

Want want want want want want want. In a perfect world, all kitchen towels would look like this. All.

I have fallen in love.

And y'know, this will be for my hypothetical kid's childhood bedroom. Because I said so, damnit.

All of the above pictures came from etsy.com, the website that will cause the destruction of my life and the unraveling of my family, but oh, the cuteness.

JE

At random: notes to myself (and you)

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:03:48 GMT

Did you know that the state motto of California is Eureka! which means I have found it! How awesome is California? Very.

My apartment is cleaner than it has been ever. Ever. There are dishes in the sink, sure, and our room is still in need of work, and I want to rearrange the furniture and vacuum the floor, etc, etc, etc... but oh man, it's mostly very clean in here.

Yesterday I printed up ten different black and white pictures of us and our families and friends and the things that make our lives wonderful and framed them and put them up around the house. Beautiful.

Stop sitting around in your pajamas and take a shower! For crap sake, it's been three days since you had clean teeth and armpits.

Mental note: You wear a size 8 shoe. Quit buying 7s and 7.5s. They will never fit. Deal.

Holy crap you still have so much to do before school starts again, get to it!

I feel like I maybe am supposed to be doing something else with my life than what I've been heading for... but maybe I should just call it a hobby and go with what I'm more finished with... for now... oh crappy crap. I like decorating. But psychology will pay for way more stability than organizing tchotchkes and picking out paint colors.

Why do I keep getting bug bites on my neck? Vampire bugs? Really? I wonder if they sparkle in the sunlight. (That reference to the worst vampire series in history was pretty terribly, huh?)

Your husband rules. Seriously. He made you cereal and coffee this morning just 'cuz. Awesome.

I need flat shoes. At least a few of them. And also, we are definitely short on trash cans in this apartment.

Hey you! You over there! I like you! Did you know? I think you're swell.

JE

2009

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:40:03 GMT

To sum things up

I've been doing this meme every year on my other lj. This year, I'm bringing it over here.

Starting with the first entry (or part of it) from every month. Since I started this journal in February, I'll start there. It was a stressful year, for sure. I am looking forward to the new year.

February
I am not new to livejournal. I am, however, trying an experiment wherein I add nobody that I know, don't let anyone know I'm over here, and see what happens. I like the idea of a more anonymous blog.

March
I have a small but mighty sinus infection today. The kind that only stays on one side of your head at a time, but while it is there, that side is in agony. I feel as though someone shoved a golf ball up my right nostril while I was sleeping, and all efforts to dislodge it have been futile. Sneezing and blowing won't do it. I'm thinking an M-80 could, but I don't know where to buy them.

April
Yesterday, while looking for something to use as a prop for a number in the drag king show, I made a horrific discovery. Somewhere within the walls of our bedroom is what I believe to be a slow plumbing leak. The two walls adjacent to our bed and everything that was near them (boxes under the bed, curtains, bedding, etc) has been developing a horrible case of mildew from bed-level down so we did not know.

May
Stupid finals week. Stupid projects due all over the place. Stupid stomach acting weird. Stupid overnight sweats and awful bone aches. Stupid having to move again in less than two months. Stupid saving money for an apartment. Stupid wedding plans. Stupid saving money for a wedding that we probably won't really be able to afford. Stupid emotional roller coaster. Stupid psychological disorders flitting around and making everything lame and hard. Stupid stupid stupid stupidstupid!!!

June
Today, Bonnie and I are taking a bottle of champagne and pictures of both of our mothers to the wretched David's Bridal and trying on dresses. She and Barry are eloping, but she wants a dress. She is bringing the champagne, some food, and a picture of her mom. I am wearing a necklace that belonged to my grandmother or her sister (not quite sure) and a bracelet I was given as a child. The necklace with my mother's ashes is in my pocket. I am bringing two pictures of my mom, a card she wrote to me, and a picture of my grandmother. Today will be difficult, I think. Dante's mom would want to come if she knew we were doing this, but Bonnie and I talked about it, and we really just want us. She knew my mom, and while I never got to meet hers (long story, but Bonnie was living with her aunt while we were in high school together, since her mom was so sick), I was there when she died. I know her stories. We have been friends for a long time. If I find something I love, I'll put it on hold so Dante's mom can come back with me to try it on again, but today needs to be about me and Bonnie and our mothers. I am a little hung over, which is making the nervous butterflies feel like angry bloated moths.

July
There will be pictures later, because I can't find my cord, but holy holy holy crap, we got a lot done yesterday. Almost all the boxes are gone. We have one box of records, a couple of those giant tupperware container dealies under the bed that I couldn't get to without taking out the bed, and that's it. We're down to furniture. Bed, dresser, bedside tables, desk, shelves (which I have to take off the wall), couch, coffee table, kitchen table, chairs, TV stand, TVs, a couple of larger kitchen appliances, hanging clothes, wall art, bathroom essentials, Jack's bike, the large rug, my awesome shower head...

August
I pinched a nerve in my back (in my sleep, darnit!) and in an attempt to get through today while also breathing, I took a boatload of painkillers. Yep. The mixing and the matching, and my lord, I was so high for the first half of today I could barely see. My back still hurts, but I no longer care all that much. And I can breathe, so that's a bonus.

September
I finally scanned in a lot of the old pictures of my mother's family.
When I was twelve, after my grandparents were already dead, their Texas house burned down. The only things like this to survive were what my mother already had in California.

October
The Individual World Poetry Slam begins tomorrow.
My living room is a dormitory.

November
Oh my goodness. Six days. Six days. Six. It's so scary and so real and so big.
I'm not afraid of being married. Not at all. I think, very seriously, that there is nothing that Jack and I can't handle together. Being married doesn't freak me out.
Having a wedding freaks me out. Holy crap. In retrospect, if I were to do it all over again, if we could have just eloped, oh my god, that would have been a better option.
Remind me next time I get married. :)

December
I'll admit it. I'm hard to shop for. Near impossible. I'm a big nerd who is fascinated by decorating. I like to cook, and I love Star Trek and Firefly. I have very specific tastes, and I like things that don't look like you grabbed them off a rack at Target. I feel I'm not alone in this, so I'm taking time out of my busy school and work schedule to put this out into the ether. Forward it to your husband. Forward it to your friend's husbands. Forward it to your husband's friends! Forward it to your coworkers, your dad, your brother, and any other poor clueless boy who needs to find you and yours the perfect girl gifts!

The following meme has been going in my other journal for six or seven years.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Planned a wedding, got married, put a cat to sleep, got an apartment on my own merit.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make one, won't this year either. Definitely want to clean my house, though. De-clutter. Organize.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep. Lots and lots of people, actually. Kendal, Kiara, Hezzie and Cielo. Oh my goodness, lots of babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandma and our cat.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I haven't left the Bay Area in a year.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Money.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 10. Our wedding.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Pulled off a wedding for under $5000. Holy crap, I rule.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Oceanography class.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. But everyone around me seems to have.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A rug for the living room for $35. A cashmere cardigan for $8.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jack, Meta, Bonnie, Marta... lots of people.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled?
I don't want to talk shit, so I'm leaving that one alone for now.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The wedding.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The wedding, Christmas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Feels Like Home by Randy Newman

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- i. happier or sadder? Happier and sadder. This time last year, we were screwed financially, more than we are now. Our living situation was unstable, and we were moving again and again and again. We are more financially stable, more secure in our living situation. We live alone. We're done with wedding planning, finally. We're much happier. Putting down Meatwad last week was horrible and Emo is still sick. We are sadder.
- ii. thinner or fatter? Pretty sure I'm fatter.
- iii. richer or poorer? Richer, but only just slightly. I'm so happy.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Working.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Freaking out.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with Jack's family in Marin. So nice.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Every day.

23. How many one-night stands?
None. I'm so happy that's over.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order SVU, Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre, Fraggle Rock. All kinds of awesome stuff is on the Netflix Instant Watch list.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Same answer as last year: Hate is far too strong a word. There are one or two people who I would rather not have in my life anymore.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Runaways series of graphic novels.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ray LaMontagne

28. What did you want and get?
Jack. The elephant teapot.

29. What did you want and not get?
A windfall fortune. [This is my answer from the last two years. Still hasn't happened.]

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Up.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28. Jack planned me an incredible surprise party dinner. I have the best husband ever.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having to put down our cat.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Things I will still wear when I'm 40.

34. What kept you sane?
Jack. Kitties. Internet access.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mariska Hargitay.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care.

37. Who did you miss?
My mom. Right now, Meatwad.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Katherine. Lola.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Sometimes the right decision sucks.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
You are the best thing ever happened to me.

41. How will you be spending New Years?
Working on the boat. Third year in a row.

JE

Meatwad

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 04:44:26 GMT

This picture was taken three weeks ago.

We had to put Meatwad down today. He was so bad there was nothing we could do. In only a few days. He'd dropped over a third of his body weight and just couldn't fight it.

There were drugs that we could have given him that had a 50% chance of helping or making him way worse. And there was a huge risk that taking him home would infect the other cats and make them really sick too.

Triage. Save who you can. It was horrible horrible horrible. The kind of decision that nobody should have to make. It was Jack's call, and he made the right decision.

We buried him in the backyard at Jack's parents' house. I sat on the porch while Jack and his dad dug a hole, just petting our poor dead baby. I hate that I feel like I left him out there in the cold. I hate that he is alone. We are distraught.

Emo is making a comeback, it looks like. He's eating on his own (not enough, but better than nothing) and drinking water. We have him on subcutaneous fluids and antibiotics.

The worst case scenario is feline leukemia. That's what this is acting like. They may have had this their whole lives or just developed it this year after the fight Emo got into with the alley cat after he fell out the window. They could have gotten this from fleas. We just don't know.

Today has been horrible and horrible and horrible. I haven't eaten. Jack can't eat. The cats that are left are unhappy. Emo has to be separated from the girls until we know what's going on with him or he gets better, because he could be contagious. They can't share a litter box, food dishes, water dishes, they can't scratch or bite.

We are afraid this will take Emo too, but he's a fighter. This is just so terrible. So terrible.

JE

Bah, humbug.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 05:55:47 GMT

There's a freeway underpass two blocks from my house, a series of freeways and BART tracks run over it, creating tall platforms way up high underneath them where it is relatively secluded and above all, dry. There are five or six older homeless men who live up there, in the high secluded caves above the sidewalk. They have air mattresses and tiny barbecues to cook in, coolers for food, pillows and blankets, buckets for waste. They're clean and away from the street, not sleeping in doorways on cardboard, not hassled by cops at night, not mugging or stealing or mean, not dying of exposure in the rain. I've always been glad they were there. It makes me glad to know that they are safe.

Today, walking to the bus stop, there were eight or nine CalTrans trucks and a couple of cop cars. Two dozen CalTrans workers were up in the caves, throwing things into trashbags, tossing bedding and personal belongings down into the ravine of the street, laughing and joking and disrespectful. Making fun of the people who would keep these things they see as garbage. Making trash of treasures.

Do you know how long it takes to spare enough change to buy a barbecue? An air mattress? Pillows and blankets and coolers? How many dumpsters you have to dig through to find things good and clean enough to still be useful? How much of a miracle it is to find a place that is dry and safe and away from the street? I am so angry I can't stand it. I don't want to walk back by there, though I know the men will be gone. Once your things are tossed into traffic, you move on. Find another place to hide from the rain. To rebuild. It will take months for them to get back to where they were last night, if they are able. They may never recover.

I wanted to scream at the workers, throwing everything into the street. But it wasn't their fault. They don't know what it is to be homeless. To be afraid. To have nowhere to go to get out of the rain. To have no heater, no refrigerator, no stove, no microwave, no blankets, no closets full of clean dry clothes, no shoes without holes. They don't know what it is to be desperate. To be turned away at the doors of a full shelter, to have strangers avert their eyes when you beg them for help.

I want to own land so that I can leave it empty, put up tent platforms in the middle of Oakland, hand out free tarps and blankets and air mattresses. Grow gardens of vegetables for whoever needs them. Bring in metal bins for trash can fires. Metal grates over them for cooking. Keep people dry and warm and safe, but still independent. Keep them out of doorways and off of rooftops, out of the backs of Crown Vic cruisers.

I hate that everything is difficult. I hate that tonight those men will come back to a place they thought was safe, only to find their lives destroyed. Only to have to begin again, with nothing. That tonight they will sleep cold and wet on bare concrete, unsafe and insecure and afraid. I hate that we treat people so badly, that we don't see humanity in poverty, not because we can't, but because we won't. We refuse because it scares us. Because if that man is someone's son, someone's brother, someone's father... then it could be our son, our brother, our father. And that is too terrifying to bear.

Light a candle tonight, for the men on my street. Light a candle for them to be safe, and that someday they can all find home.

JE